Archive for the 'Non-Fiction' Category

18 JunEat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Genre: Memoir
Main characters: Liz Gilbert
Time and place: Italy, India, Indonesia; early 2000s
First sentence:When you’re traveling in India — especially through holy sites and Ashrams — you see a lot of people wearing beads around their necks.

Summary: As the subtitle says, the book exposes “one woman’s search for everything” during a year spent travelling. After a painful divorce, a failed relationship, and a prolonged battle with depression, Liz has decided to take her life into her own hands and, for once, try to find her own self, as a person rather than a part of a relationship. She went to Italy to pursue pleasure, to India to find God, and to Indonesia to find a balance between worldly pleasures and the divine. This is her story, raw and honest, detailing her experiences during her journey.

I was initially reluctant to pick this book up because of the huge hype around it, and also because I feared the tone might be too dry (or too self-help-ish, if there is such thing). I was happy to discover I couldn’t have been more wrong: the book is in turns funny, heart wrenching, philosophical and informative. A pleasure for me to read, especially as it touched some of the topics I’m interested in (meditation being one of them).

There are people who call Liz too narcissistic, and are disappointed that this book revolves around her. I disagree with that, especially since this is a memoir, so it’s only natural for it to relay the experiences of its author, right? I do not know how to best describe Liz (since she is a real person, and as such hard to contain into just a few words), but I didn’t think her narcissistic at all. Quite the contrary, I ended up liking her quite a bit (and was very amused by the fact that I, as many other reviewers, refer to her as “Liz” instead of “Elizabeth”, or “Ms. Gilbert”, because we think of her as a close friend after all the personal things she shared with us).

Perhaps the reason that I liked this book (and Liz) so much is that I very much related to some of her experiences. For example (the part that touched me the most) the moment when she writes an email to David, letting him know that she thinks their relationship is over for good. She knows that this is the best thing for them both, and yet deep down there’s a part of her hoping that there’s still a chance their relationship will work, that he’ll reply with “COME BACK! DON’T GO! I’LL CHANGE!”. A moment so charged with emotion, and so raw. And oh, how I relate to that (actually, don’t we all?).

You know, if I had to choose a favorite country between the three I would be sort of hard pressed to do so. Italy, for example, is mostly a hymn to enjoying good food. As a sidenote, this is the very reason why I first noticed this book, the fact that it had “eat” in the title, a thing that I have found quite original in this age of dieting and size 0 models. I happen to live a lifelong love story with food and, while I am not fond of the idea of the weight gain it implies, I very much resonate with the idea of simply enjoying the small pleasures in life (good food being one of them). India is the very opposite of Italy: the needs of the body fall to the second place, the spiritual needs taking over. This is the place where many interesting ideas relating to God are enumerated, and I have found a plethora of new things to muse on, so needless to say I loved this part :) And Bali (Indonesia), being the most balanced of the two, fascinated me through the cultural differences. The fact that most of the children (or was it all of them?) are named according to their birth order (First, Second, Third, Fourth, and then it starts all over again, the fifth child is named First, and so on). There are a few questions everyone asks anyone (“Where are you going?“, “Where are you coming from?” and “Are you married?“, this last having as an only tactful answer “Not yet.“).

My favorite part of Bali though was their relationship with the smiles. Children are taught from very young ages to always meet difficulty with a smile on their face. Not only that, but there is a special kind of Balinese meditation, and that too involves lots of smiling:

“Why they always look so serious in Yoga? You make serious face like this, you scare away good energy. To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver. [...] Too serious, you make you sick. You can calling the good energy with a smile.”

Here are a few more quotes:

I remember asking myself one night, while I was curled up in the same old corner of my same old couch in tears yet again over the same old repetition of sorrowful thoughts, “Is there anything about this scene you can change, Liz?” And all I could think to do was stand up, while still sobbing, and try to balance on one foot in the middle of my living room. Just to prove that — while I couldn’t stop the tears or change my dismal interior dialogue — I was not yet totally out of control: at least I could cry hysterically while balanced on one foot.

—-

“In the end, what I have come to believe about God is simple. It’s like this–I used to have this really great dog. She came from the pound. She was a mixture of about ten different breeds, but seemed to have inherited the finest features of them all. She was brown. When people asked me, “What kind of dog is that?” I would always give the same answer: “She’s a brown dog.” Similarly, when the question is raised, “What kind of God do you believe in?” my answer is easy: “I believe in a magnificent God.”

—-

Ham-sa.
In Sanskrit it means “I am that”.
[...]As long as we live, every time we breathe in or out, we are repeating this mantra. I am That. I am Divine, I am with God, I am an expression of God, I am not separate, I am not alone, I am not this limited illusion of an individual.

—-

“God dwells within you, as you.”
[...] God dwells within you as you yourself, exactly the way you are. God isn’t interested in watching you enact some performance of personality in order to comply with some crackpot notion you have about how a spiritual person looks or behaves. We all seem to get this idea that, in order to be sacred, we have to make some massive, dramatic change of character, that we have to renounce our individuality. This is a classic example of what they call in the East “wrong-thinking.” [...] To know God, you need only to renounce one thing — your sense of division from God.

I did say I have found some interesting notions about God in this book, haven’t I? Not to mention the part where Liz is told by the Balinese medicine man that Hell is love, since the Universe is circular and no matter whether you go up or down you end up in the same place. How revolutionary/challenging is that? I am not saying I agree (what do I know about God/Heaven/Hell anyway), but I find it an idea worth thinking about nevertheless.

Although I liked this book to bits, there is nevertheless one qualm I’ve had with it, namely that sometimes while reading I had the same feeling as the one described in this article:

Eat, Pray, Love is not the first book of its kind, but it is a perfect example of the genre of priv-lit: literature or media whose expressed goal is one of spiritual, existential, or philosophical enlightenment contingent upon women’s hard work, commitment, and patience, but whose actual barriers to entry are primarily financial. Should its consumers fail, the genre holds them accountable for not being ready to get serious, not “wanting it” enough, or not putting themselves first, while offering no real solutions for the astronomically high tariffs—both financial and social—that exclude all but the most fortunate among us from participating.

I do not know how to describe it better, other than as a vague feeling of nostalgia (as in ooooh, how I’d love to do that myself, but I could never afford it). Sure, I do understand that this is the story of Liz, not of the average female (so I shouldn’t necessarily expect to identify myself with her circumstances/way of life/etc.), and yet at times that nostalgia made itself felt.

Thoughts on the title: I love it :) Each of the words is a reference to one of the countries visited, and whoever designed the cover has taken advantage of that too: “eat” is a reference to Italy and is written in pasta, “pray” is India plus rosary beads, and “love” is Bali and exotic flowers — can it get any cooler than that? :)

Thoughts on the ending: In a way it sounded simply too good to be true :) (as in, does this woman have everything or what). However, since this is the memoir of a living person, I do not see it as an ending but merely as an intermediary step. Although to be honest show spoiler

What I liked most: Lots of things :)
Choosing at random, I loved the Introduction, explaining the importance of the number 108, and the fact that the book has precisely 108 chapters (36 for each country) — I thought it a nice touch.

Also (another random moment) I was touched by the moment when Liz, tormented by her feeling that her marriage was over, was crying at night, on the bathroom floor. And then an inner voice gave her the best advice ever, in the circumstances. “Go back to bed, Liz.

“Go back to bed’, said the omniscient interior voice, because you don’t need to know the final answer right now, at three o’clock in the morning on the Thursday in November. ‘Go back to bed’, because I love you. ‘Go back to bed’, beacause the only thing you need to do for now is get some rest and take good care of yourself until you do know the answer.”

show spoiler

What I liked least: Nothing bothered me that much to be worth a mention here :)

Recommend it to? This seems to be one of these books you either love or love to hate. I do encourage everyone to at least give it a try though :)

Buy this from amazon.com | Buy this from bookdepository.co.uk | Elizabeth Gilbert’s official site | Elizabeth giving a TED Talk on creativity/genius

The links to amazon.com and bookdepository.co.uk are affiliate links. If you click one of them and buy something, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price. This being said, rest assured that the few cents I might thus make will never influence what I say or do not say about any book reviewed on the site.

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26 MayAlexandra, the Last Tsarina by Carolly Erickson

Genre: Non-fiction
Main characters: Alexandra Feodorovna Romanova
Time and place: 1878-1918, mostly Russia
First sentence:In the darkened bedroom of the new
palace in Darmstadt, Alice, Grand Duchess of Hesse, lay dying.

Summary: Born Alix of Hesse, Alexandra has had to change her name upon marrying into the Russian Imperial family, as a token of loyalty to her new people. Unfortunately, her rather misguided behavior (but also rumors and sheer bad luck) made her disliked by family and Russian people alike. A pity since, albeit not perfect, she would perhaps have been a better empress if only she had been a little more encouraged.

The story focuses more on Alexandra’s inner life than on her surroundings. This may come as somewhat of a disappointment for readers who picked this book up in order to find out more about Russia, but I for one have liked the way the author has tried to shed some light on Alexandra’s complex and nuanced character. A character that, naturally, affects Russia itself, since her position was of such importance, and it is sad at times to see Alix trying and failing to do it good.

Quite a good chunk of the book is dedicated to Alix’s inclination to the occult. At a time in her life when everyone criticized her and her own life seemed outside her control (by failing to bring a much-awaited heir into the world), she has found a haven in the middle of a group of people that experimented all sorts of mystical things.

Alix was quite taken out of herself. She had not only found a community, an emotional home, she had found-or so she was convinced-an escape from the endless series of failures by which she had been plagued since she first came to Russia.

To me this is one of the saddest passages in the book. And also the start of the fall of the Romanov house, as this tendency of Alix led her to from one charlatan (Phillippe Vachot) to another (Rasputin), affecting her judgement when it came to matters of state.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Nicholas II was not a great ruler, on the contrary, he was weak and ineffective. He was afraid “of the responsibility itself, and the mental labor it was certain to impose. He had never been a man to think things through, to analyze a situation creatively and find solutions to problems. He had always turned away from complexity [...]“. Alix had known this of him since before their marriage, and knew and accepted the fact that she was the one supposed to have the strength for them both. And she did try, and she did her best, despite her failing health, whenever the said strength was needed — but alas, she was oh so misguided it was sad to see.

Speaking of the occult, the author mentions some instances of omens that I am not sure have actually happened. Such as Nicholas mantle falling off at his coronation, a huge mirror falling and shattering behind Alix, shortly before Alexei was born, a cross appearing on the sky on St. Tikhon’s day, Alix at last becoming pregnant with a boy after visiting St. Serafim’s relics, and more. Granted, the Russians at that time seemed to have been a superstitious people (not to mention that there’s also Rasputin, who convinced lots of people that he’s a miracle worker, and whose methods of treating Alexei hemophilia are yet unexplained), and yet their very mention suggests a whiff of sensationalism. A thing not necessarily bad in itself, but since I read the book for its historical truth I preferred the said truth to anything else.

Overall though (while I agree I did not know very much about the topic previously, so my opinion may not be very reliable) the book seemed rather well documented. The author seems to have done extensive research, and there are many quotes from the historical figures’ first hand accounts, via their personal diaries and letters to one another. I loved getting that particular insight into their lives, as it made me perceive them as real people (with their flaws and strengths).

Speaking of which, another thing that I have liked is the familiarity with which the author is treating her characters, using their pet names and making the reader feel part of the family (Nicholas II is referred to as Nicky all throughout, his mother Maria Feodorovna is referred to as Minnie and so on).

Tidbit: Alexandra and I have the same birthday, which makes her the second character in a book (the first real one) with this particularity. I found it amusing, especially at first, when she was younger and her character less affected by her surroundings, to note her “Gemini traits”, such as, for example, her contradictory nature:

“She was capable of gaiety, she laughed easily, with her children she was warm and affectionate. But she gravitated toward illness and death, toward any circumstance in which tragedy loomed and in which she could assume the role of rescuer-a role that allowed her to step out of her everyday, troubled self and assume a simpler, less emotionally demanding identity, that of self-sacrificing caretaker.”

Thoughts on the ending: It was of course predictable (as history tells us how and why Alix and her family died). I liked the way it was written though (the way it focused only on Alix, who is, after all, the central character of the book). Also, I was surprised to find myself more saddened by the said ending than I expected to be given the fact that I knew it was coming all along. I suppose this is a forte of the book, as I didn’t realize how attached to the main character I had become until its demise.

What I liked most: The writing style. I love reading biographies, especially when it comes to historical figures, but I don’t always enjoy them due to their sometimes dry style. This book was the very opposite of dry, reading more like a novel than a non-fiction book.

What I liked least: I’ve no complaints :)

Recommend it to? Anyone interested in Alexandra’s life, of course.

Buy this from amazon.com | Buy this from bookdepository.co.uk | Short clip from the Romanov Coronation (one of the oldest videos ever) | Russian regalia | Photo of Alix, 1898 | Photo of Alix, older, sterner, with her family

The links to amazon.com and bookdepository.co.uk are affiliate links. If you click one of them and buy something, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price. This being said, rest assured that the few cents I might thus make will never influence what I say or do not say about any book reviewed on the site.

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03 OctBetween Me and the River by Carrie Host

Genre: Memoir
Main characters: Carrie and her husband Amory
Time and place: 2003-2007; Boulder, Colorado (plus some bits in Rochester, Minnesota)
First sentence: “I hate having to stand by like a stranger in my own life”

Summary: At forty, Carrie Host’s life seemed complete: she had a wonderful loving husband, three beautiful children (aged 13, 11 and 10 months), she was happy with her role as a housewife and mother, and enjoyed hiking with her friends. But all this is about to change all of the sudden: Carrie is diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, immune to chemotherapy and necessitating immediate surgery. The blow numbs her at first, and she feels like she is thrown into a raging river with no boat to save her. But she is the survivor type, and step by step her mindset adjusts to her new life and challenges, discovering new dimensions of herself in the process.

I picked up this book knowing that whatever else happens in it at least it would have a happy ending (today the author is in perfectly good shape). It is nevertheless a very moving story, the harrowing account of the thoughts of a mother that knows she might have to leave her children before long, the story of a woman all too aware of the emptiness she would leave in the lives of her loved ones — her husband, her parents, her kids, her friends. Ms. Host has chosen a very honest approach, not hesitating to bare her soul and exposing her innermost thoughts during that trying time. Reading this made me cry more than once, although, as I said, I knew it was all just a phase, I knew it was going to pass, I knew it was going to end well.

The first word that comes to my mind when I think of Carrie after reading this book is (predictably enough perhaps) “strong”. She managed to find within herself the resources she needed in order to battle cancer, in order to keep her sanity, in order to keep being there for her loved ones. Even now, years after what she went through, she keeps fighting the fight: she is on board of directors of an organization (Caring for Carcinoid) that is dedicated to discovering a cure for that particular condition. She is also a public speaker (and now a published author) trying to motivate people not to give up, wanting to show them that there may be life after carcinoids, and I deeply admire and respect her for that.

And yet, while Carrie’s strength is a defining trait for her, it is not the one I have liked most. That mention goes to a most likely less useful one but the one I very much enjoyed reading about: her artistic side. The fact that, even when she is down, she imagines her life and (possible) future events as short stories or even paintings. The fact that she is the kind that notices the minute details of life, the fact that she encourages her kids to go out there and make life beautiful for themselves. An unexpected trait that one doesn’t often see in books and that I delighted in because of that.

It was also interesting to get to know some of the cast of characters in Carrie’s life. Amory is simply perfect, with the way he devised a plan to find someone who could help Carrie, with the way he never stopped being there for her and helping her with the small things and the big ones, always showering her with love. Carrie’s mother, an ex-nurse, is also a mountain of strength, never leaving her daughter’s side. Carrie’s sister Marisa and Carrie’s sister-in-law Trina are other two relatives very supporting in time of need. At first I thought that well, Carrie is incredibly lucky to have only positive people in her life. But then I realized, reading between the lines, that the truth is that she has chosen to focus on the positive only, on the encouraging experiences — there are also negatives, friends who leave, people who try to impose their believes on her, doctors not paying enough attention, there have to have been moments of discouragement, of anger, of tensions now and then (how can there not be when one has to live with such a threat), but all this is mentioned only in passing, if at all, enforcing my opinion that Carrie is, above all, a positive person and has written this book to encourage others not to complain of her fate.

A few quotes that I have liked:

“I am a poet. As such, I am a hopeless romantic about life. For me, details are worth noticing. I believe that a bath can cure practically anything that ails you, and what the bath can’t cure, hot tea and music will.” (Carrie about her pre-cancer self)

“You want to hit delete and go back to the old description of yourself, the one without the medical terms mixed in. You can’t.”

“Anger is unnatural. Like holding our breath, it becomes more debilitating the longer we do it. Love comes naturally, like the urge to breathe. Forgiveness is the extension of that urge. It’s taking that breath. It’s that satisfying.”

“Buy yourselves flowers, kids. Fill your lives with the things you love, don’t wait for someone else to do it.”

“Sometimes our lifelines are thrown to us by angels — not the ones in paintings, but the ones right here in our lives.”

What I liked most: The way Carrie relates to words. Ever since she was a child, when she has received a letter from Nixon himself, she has been impressed by the power words have. At that moment she has decided she wanted to become a writer, she wanted to help words take particular shapes. Later on though, after her diagnose, there are a few moments when she feels the opposite: words, as the medium which brought her the bad news, became the enemy. For some reason I find this an interesting way of looking at something as widely used as words :)

What I liked least: How can I even dare criticize someone who’s been through that kind of ordeal? Not that there’s actually anything to criticize. Nevertheless even if it were I wouldn’t dare mention it ’cause I am very much aware that (lucky for me) I don’t know the first thing about having to deal with all that.

Recommend it to? It’s a honest memoir that relates having to deal with cancer. As such I would recommend it to people who like reading real life stories, cancer survivors and — and anyone else actually. A fast read filled with the simple truths one discovers when one’s life is on the line.

See also
The author’s site
Carrie’s account of how she first met Amory (scroll down to the last)

The links to amazon.com and bookdepository.co.uk are affiliate links. If you click one of them and buy something, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price. This being said, rest assured that the few cents I might thus make will never influence what I say or do not say about any book reviewed on the site.

Popularity: 10% [?]

04 MayThe Pursuit of Happyness / Chris Gardner

Genre: Memoir
Main characters: Chris Gardner
Time and place: mostly Milwaukee and San Francisco in the 60s-80s
Summary: The true story of Chris Gardner: born in a dysfunctional family, with an unknown father and an abusive stepfather; dreaming to be a doctor when he grew up because he had discovered he had the hands for the job; a father of his own when his wife left him because he earned too little; wanting to strike it big on Wall Street, working at a brokerage firm and at the same time homeless, sleeping in public toilets with his kid. Luckily for him at last his hard work paid out and now he is well off, the owner of a company of his own and the very embodiment of the American dream.

To tell the truth I am not sure whether I liked Chris Gardner or not. He is being brutally honest in his book, revealing even the things that put him in a bad light, such as planning to kill his step-father (perhaps understandably enough, as the guy viciously beat up everyone in his family), trying to steal a few times, and not giving a damn about the women in his life (with the exception of his mother, who seemed to be a special person indeed). Chris also has redeeming qualities though, such as his willingness to do his very best at every job he ever had, even when the said job consisted in changing adult diapers. He seemed to really care for his patients when he was a doctor or a nurse, and I admired him for that. To be honest there are a lot of things about him I don’t quite get — but then again I have never been a black male in a said to be racist society either. I don’t even get his attachment to his son: he says he loves him and cannot part with him, yet keeps Chris Jr. with him when he’s living on the street and gives him back to his mother when he starts making good money. Either way, I couldn’t help but admire his ambition and hard work and was glad all the while reading the book knowing that he will overcome all his adversities.

I have seen the movie with the same title a while ago and have found the story absolutely touching. Finding out it was made after a true story impressed me even more so for me this was a must read book. And yet, I couldn’t help being a disappointed as there are very few common things between the movie and the book: mostly the fact that Chris has a son and one day Chris sees a guy with a red Ferrari, a thing that has been the root of his trying his hand at becoming a broker. But the Chris in the movie was a lot more humble and a lot more likable than the one in the book. While neither of them is perfect, the one in the book is perhaps a tad too imperfect for my taste.

I couldn’t help thinking that, while Chris was blaming white people of being racists (which I have no doubt that some of them actually were), he was actually kind of a racist himself, only on the reverse. I’m not going to say here how he mostly dated black women as each person has his own tastes, but I was a bit annoyed at the niche he had found for himself. Oh I will make a company to serve black people. Not a company to help people in need of good services, but black people. This didn’t ring very well with me — although it seemed to have done wonders for him.

As a bit of trivia, Quincy Troupe, the guy who helped Chris Gardner write his autobiography, has previously worked with Miles Davis. A coincidence since Chris seems to cannot stress enough how much Miles Davis means to him — I bet he was really thrilled to work with Quincy after reading his credentials. :)

What I liked most: I think the title was extremely well chosen. There is a particular day-care where Chris wants to enlist Chris Jr., only it is kinds expensive and they only accept potty trained children. A note on the wall proclaims it to be a place of “happyness”. In a way, this becomes the most tangible thing Chris has come to want: to earn enough money to get Chris Jr. accepted at that particular day care. When Chris is working his butt off, calling hundreds of people mostly uninterested in what he has to say, this is the very thing he is dreaming about: sure, he would like a red Ferrari, a million bucks, a home (not particularly in that order), he would like happiness on the long term; but on the short term is the place of “happyness” that Chris is pursuing, a way for him to make sure his son got the attention and care he deserved.

What I liked least: The fact that the book was written sort of “slang-style”. The thing that annoyed me most was that he kept using the word “cat” instead of guy (while I was aware of this meaning of the word, it kept confusing me nevertheless). On a close second it’s the way he called every black woman she met a “sister”. While I have nothing whatsoever with black people or the way they talk I didn’t enjoy those bits nevertheless. Perhaps because I was expected the language to be a bit more educate as opposed to the usual ghetto talk.

Recommend it to? Let me think. First of all, I saw lots of people complaining about the language (I sort of ignored it because I was caught up in the book), so if you don’t like bad language, you might not want to read this one. The book shows a different Gardner than the movie did; it all boils down to whether you want to get to know the real Chris Gardner or not.

The links to amazon.com and bookdepository.co.uk are affiliate links. If you click one of them and buy something, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price. This being said, rest assured that the few cents I might thus make will never influence what I say or do not say about any book reviewed on the site.

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17 MarReading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books / Azar Nafisi

Genre: Memoir
Main characters: I’d have to say life in Iran itself was the main and overwhelmingly present character
Time and place: about 1978-1997, mostly Tehran (Iran), but also a bit of US
Summary: The book is a collection of events recounted by the author about life in the 80s and 90s Tehran. It all begins when Ms. Nafisi returns to Iran after finishing her studies in the US, with lots of hopes and dreams about resuming her life in her native country. She begins teaching literature at an university, but a few years later she had to resign for political reasons — refusing to wear the veil in a country where women’s rights were compromised a little bit more each day. After a long hiatus she goes back to teaching, this time at a more “enlightened” university, but also wearing the hated veil that has, since then, become mandatory for women whenever they were in the presence of men. Despite her high hopes she resigns again, and starts her own private literature class, teaching a handful of selected girls as passionate about literature as she. Nevertheless she feels trapped in a world where women have way fewer rights than men, so slowly she starts thinking about leaving Iran and moving to the US for good (which she actually does, we find out in the epilogue that she did move to the States and is back to her beloved work, teaching literature). 

The book is a lot less about Ms. Nafisi’s own life than about life in Iran in general (especially life for women). We are told about the political environment of those years, about the manifestations, the death of Khomeini, the Iran-Iraq war and many other things. On another plan we get to see Ms. Nafisi’s relating to her students: her attachment to “her girls” and her worrying for them, their lives and lack of liberties; the way her more radical students, especially men, behaved in school; and more, turning everything in a kaleidoscope of characters and feelings that (probably) accurately describe those years in Iran.

The book has lots of characters, mostly people Ms. Nafisi has met at the University, students or colleagues. There are so many of them that I occasionally lost track of one or the other (a thing that doesn’t happen to me very often). To my deep chagrin, I cannot say I got an accurate image not even of the author’s private students, “her girls” as she uses to call them. I can of course say their names and I do remember a thing or two on most of them (especially Nassrin, she was my favorite for some reason), but on the whole I cannot present an accurate characterization on any of them, not even a sketchy one. There are very few characters I can actually venture to write about. I have liked of course the author herself (although we see her mostly in the lights of her experiences, naturally enough she does not talk very much about herself), her husband Bijan also seemed a nice enough chap, and, my favorite of them all, the one the author calls “my magician”, an ex-teacher to a Tehran university too, a guy that seems to always have the ability to say the very thing that needs saying at any given moment.

This is probably a very shallow thing to say, but I was amazed at how unfair life was for women in Tehran in that particular period. They could face imprisonment for one year if they were caught painting their nails! Every single day was filled with little (or less so) nagging things, ranging from having to wear the veil, to being given an inferior room in a restaurant when unaccompanied by men, to being imprisoned for the slightest offenses and being given forced virginity tests. I have a hard time even trying to imagine such a life and I cannot help feeling sorry for the life the poor girls had to endure back then (some of it even now actually, from what I have understood the morals are being more lax now but not nearly the way they are in the US or Europe, the way I think they should be).
Here is a quote I have thought to be representative of the situation:

I wonder if right now, at this moment, I were to turn to the people sitting next to me in this café in a country that is not Iran and talk to them about life in Tehran, how they would react. Would they condemn the tortures, the executions and the extreme acts of aggression? I think they would. But what about the acts of transgression on our ordinary lives, like the desire to wear pink socks?

What I liked most:  All the parallels made (or the contrasts evidenced) between life in Iran and the books the author chose to talk about. Actually, every single bit that spoke about books was very interested for me, opening up new vistas and perspectives, even on books I (used to think I) knew quite well. Speaking of which, I am fairly certain Ms. Nafisi’s students are very lucky to have her as their teacher, she seems to love books, and open them up to interpretation very well also.

As an example of the parallels previously, mentioned, here’s something about the very Lolita:

Take Lolita. This was the story of a twelve-year-old girl who had nowhere to go. Humbert had tried to turn her into his fantasy, into his dead love, and he had destroyed her. The desperate truth of Lolita’s story is not the rape of a twelve-year-old by a dirty old man but the confiscation of one individual’s life by another. We don’t know what Lolita would have become if Humbert had not engulfed her. Yet the novel, the finished work, is hopeful, beautiful even, a defense not just of beauty but of life, ordinary everyday life, all the normal pleasures that Lolita, like Yassi, was deprived of.

a comparison made even more pregnant later, by saying about “her [the author's] girls”:

Throughout, from start to finish, I observe that they have no clear image of themselves; they can only see and shape themselves through other people’s eyes-ironically, the very people they despise.

Just like Lolita is only seen through the eyes of the narrator only. We don’t know her absolutely, only reflected in Humbert’s eye. As the author put it:

“Lolita belongs to a category of victims who have no defense and are never given a chance to articulate their own story. As such, she becomes a double victim: not only her life but also her life story is taken from her. We told ourselves we were in that class to prevent ourselves from falling victim to this second crime.”

It’s this kind of passages that were my absolute favorites, making me discover new angles when it came to both books and life in Tehran.

Also, there are two other quotes that I have absolutely loved and agreed with:

We in ancient countries have our past-we obsess over the past. They, the Americans, have a dream: they feel nostalgia about the promise of the future.

While this is an absolutely novel thought for me, having never crossed my head, I can nevertheless see its truth (especially as I am not an American so I have first-hand experience of this “obsessing over the past” the author talks about).
And the one, this time about reading:

A novel is not an allegory [...]. It is the sensual experience of another world. If you don’t enter that world, hold your breath with the characters and become involved in their destiny, you won’t be able to empathize, and empathy is at the heart of the novel. This is how you read a novel: you inhale the experience.

I think its pretty obvious why I like it so much :)

What I liked least: Something that is not necessarily a fault of the book’s but my own. Each of the four parts of the book takes place in a different time, without respect to the chronology. Every now and then the author recounted scenes that happened before or were to happen later, between the moment of recollection and the book being published. All this going back and forth had me confused every now and then, especially as I had no idea about the history of Iran and the order of the actual events.

Recommend it? All throughout reading it (despite my occasional getting lost in characters and events) I had the feeling it was a very well written book. A reason enough for me to recommend it :)


The links to amazon.com and bookdepository.co.uk are affiliate links. If you click one of them and buy something, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price. This being said, rest assured that the few cents I might thus make will never influence what I say or do not say about any book reviewed on the site.

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01 MarKopek the Destroyer / Phil Owens

Genre: Memoir
Main characters: Kopek the dog and his owners Phil and Ronnie
Time and place: contemporary UK
Summary: Both Phil and his wife have always been animals lovers and owners. When they move into a new house they decide it’s pretty empty without a dog so they get one, despite their already having two rabbits. They don’t stop here either, later on they get another rabit, a cat and a Guinea pig. In the author’s own words, “It was starting to feel like the ark“. Unfortunately their dog died of old age and, missing a dog in their lives, they get another one, this time a puppy. Enters Kopek, and the couple’s quiet life will never be the same again. The book narrates the joys and troubles of living with a boundlessly energetic paper-lowing pillow-chewing dog (up until he’s about 18 months old, his age at the time the book has been written).

Kopek is a British Inuit, quite a large dog, playful and, despite his antics, with quite a friendly temperament. I was amused by him, of course, but I was even more interested in his “parents”. What can I say, I love animals, so I am kinda subjective when it comes to them. Which means I was bound to like the couple in the book — the author and his wife, Ronnie. I have absolutely loved them actually. They were both dedicated animals lovers and could hardly say no to an animal in need of a home (and lucky for them they did have a home large enough for that). They both appreciated all their pets and felt gratitude for the time they got to spend together — their feelings for their dog Tim after he passed away almost made me cry. Another thing I liked very much about them was that their love for animals was unbounded, completely disregarding the race (given that they had rabits, a guinea pig, a cat, a dog, almost ended up buying a goat once) — just my kind of people, as I never could understand the whole “I’m a dog person but I hate cats” thing, in my mind one either cares about all furry creatures or doesn’t, nothing in between. Oh, and they love to read! Need I say more? :)

Speaking of the author, the moment when he went to the pet store and bought a rabbit simply because it “was all on his own, with no friends to play with or keep him company” melted my heart (I know just the feeling, I have it too every now and then when I see a sad-looking pet at a pet store). Same goes for the way he got his cat, Gucci. So “aaaaaaw” :)

The book is subtitled “Causes of Indigestion for a Wolfy Puppy“, and once I started it it drew me in and had a hard time putting it down. I actually read the first a hundred-odd pages in one sitting. Here and there there are a few pictures of Kopek in various stages of his life, plus lots of events I was amused by and related to at once. Such as, for example, the first nights spent by Kopek in his new house, his howling and his owners’ desperation (but also their not wanting to give in and go to him because he might get the idea that howling will get him things). That is precisely what happened with me and my cat, and still happens every now and then actually — of course my cat is not howling but meowing loudly. Also, I was amused to find out that Kopek’s name means “dog” in Turkish — I was always fond of this quirky way of naming animals (to this day I own an old plush horse whose name is “Horse” :P )

What I liked most: I absolutely loved Ronnie’s imagination :)

Ronnie has made up for her rabbits’ lack of personality by inventing a fantasy life along with a language for her rodents. [...] In her mind, when she was out at work, she could quite happily picture her rabbits playing poker, watching the television and getting up to all sorts of mischievous things.

Not to mention the Rodent Council (“an imaginary group of animals that looked after the interests of all rodents, and according to Ronnie, they also enforced rodent law“), plus all the references to animal personalities all throughout the book (such as when Tim the dog chewed off the years of Joey the wooden rabbit the author muses that perhaps “Joey was a better poker player than him [Tim], and after losing a whole week supply of Bonios, he [Tim] took it out on his years“), and more.
There are no words to say how charmed I was by all this :)

What I liked least: The book is self published and at times it shows in the odd turns of phrase (i.e. “The other dog was fairly large, which we since learned was called Missy“), sort of understandable since the author did not have the privilege of an experienced editor. Nevertheless, these bits do not detract very much from the overall funny (and at times fuzzy) feeling of the book.

Recommend it? If you are a dog lover then it’s a must read. Even if you’re not the book is pretty funny at times plus a fast read, and I have enjoyed it despite my being a cat person (which isn’t to say I don’t like dogs, I just like cats more :) ).

See also
The author’s site (including a blog and publishing advice)
Flickr set with more pictures of Kopek (including his 1-year birthday cake I was a bit curious about :) )



The links to amazon.com and bookdepository.co.uk are affiliate links. If you click one of them and buy something, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price. This being said, rest assured that the few cents I might thus make will never influence what I say or do not say about any book reviewed on the site.

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04 FebThe Last Lecture / Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow

Genre: Non-Fiction
Summary: Carnegie Mellon University has (had?) the tradition of encouraging the outgoing professors to give a “last lecture”, where they are supposed to share lessons life taught them and bits of wisdom they wanted to pass on to their listeners/students. Unfortunately for Dr. Randy Pausch, when he is asked to hold this lecture he knows this is literally his last: he has been recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and his chances of living more than six months were slim to none. In the context the opportunity of the lecture takes on a new meaning: a way for Pausch to share his opinions and knowledge both with his students and, (the lecture being filmed) years in the future, with his three (now very small) children. This book is an expansion of the actual lecture, going into a bit more detail and sharing some more things.

Unfortunately, despite his bravery, strength, optimism and readiness to fight his illness, Dr. Pausch has died in July 2008, eleven months after his being diagnosed. Despite my not actually knowing him, I can safely say, after reading his book, that he will be sorely missed.

What can I say about Randy Pausch? Nothing comes to mind other than “I would so much like to be just like him”. He was a great teacher and a loving husband and father. However what I admire most about him (other than his smarts) is his optimist and his zest for life. After reading the book I watched the lecture video online and (although I knew by then what to expect) I was once again impressed (on the verge of shocked) by his words, his laughter and his jokes. As he called it himself, a huge “cognitive dissonance”: I knew him to be dying, I knew he had less than a year to live since that particular moment, and yet he was smiling, and joking, and acting like he had no care in the world (although I can only imagine how hard his situation must have been). I applaud him for that. If there’s be only one thing I’d love to learn from Randy, that would absolutely be his courage and optimism in the face of the unavoidable.

For me, this was, besides an inspirational book, also one of the coolest books ever, because I enjoyed reading about (what were for me) some really cool experiences that Randy had — at one point I was in full OMG mode: OMG, he has written an article for an actual (printed!) Encyclopedia!!! How cool, he thinks Wikipedia is as believable a source as any! And, OMG!!! He has actually met William Shatner!!!!! etc. What can I say, the guy not only had cool dreams (at least in my geeky book), but he also got to achieve most of them, which makes them doubly so (understandably enough — perhaps — this is one of my favorite parts of the book).

Not everything is OMG-ish though. Most parts are the kind that make the reader stop and reflect. Such as at the very beginning, when Randy tells us about how he thinks of his death in a practical way: he and his wife have bought a house and moved to Virginia, in order for her to have her family near after Randy will die. I can only imagine how hard it must be to go through something like that. Randy, the eternal optimist, the eternal Tigger, has jokingly managed to find at least a happy thing in his situation: at least he won’t have to go to the dentist’s anymore.

A large part of the book is filled with words of advice (what I called life lessons): in Randy’s words, things that he has done and have proven useful. The chapters are short, and usually also describe a situation in the author’s life where it (the advice in that chapter) has been useful and how/why. Perhaps this overabundance of personal details and events have made some people criticize this book for being egotistic, saying that the author is talking too much about himself (some even say he doesn’t talk at all about anything else). What these people seem to miss is that there is no better way to learn things other than first hand, through your own experiences — which is what Randy did, and now tries to share with the rest of us. In my opinion the book would be a lot drier, a lot less interesting and a lot less useful without Randy showing the practical (as opposed to the theoretical) part of his experience too.

Speaking of which, there’s another feeling I get when I read Randy’s account of his life (although he rarely mentions it, if at all): gratitude. He had wise parents that taught him to work hard, that taught him to search for his own answers rather than just waiting for them to be offered, that let him paint his room the way he saw fit. He’s been lucky to meet and work with wonderful people. He has had wonderful experiences, has met his other half, married her and fathered three beautiful children. He knows that he has been absolutely blessed in some areas and appreciates them, despite his illness. I have once read that gratitude and optimism go hand in hand — this book is a perfect example of that. And you know what? After achieving his own dreams Randy’s next step was, as he puts it, “enabling others to achieve their childhood dreams”, so that he could share that joy to as many people as possible.

Two of my (many) favorite quotes:

“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.”

“It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you. “

What I liked most: My most-liked moment was, by far, the one where the young Randy went to Disneyland for the first time and thought “one day I want to make something like this too!”. Why? Because I can SO relate to that. Years ago, when I was more or less the same age as Randy at Disneyland, I have “met” a computer for the very first time. My thought that evening? “Wow, I want to make something like this!” (meaning the software not the hardware, of course, as I was fascinated by the way the computer does whatever one wants it to do at the touch of a button). So you see, I can totally feel for little Randy (and rejoice for big Randy when his dream has finally come true, as I too know how important such a dream can be to a person). In a way it was like reading about myself :)

What I liked least: Understandably enough the fact that the author died. I do realize that no man lives forever and that this book wouldn’t have been written if the author wasn’t dying. And yet Mr. Pausch has been such an extraordinary man and I am very sorry that his life was cut short like that :( He made the world a better place (one word: Alice) and who knows what his living at least a few more years could have brought. Not to mention the difference it would have made for his wife and kids.

Recommend it? Well, given that I think it one of the coolest books I’ve ever read (while also filled with most useful advice), I absolutely do. Especially if you are an IT geek as I am.

Links:
Watch Randy’s last lecture
Randy Pausch’s (sort of) blog — confirming the fact that he was a complete optimist until the end; looking at his posts one sees a guy focusing a lot more of the tiny details that went right other than the rest of them, the many that went wrong
An extra chapter that didn’t make it into the book



The links to amazon.com and bookdepository.co.uk are affiliate links. If you click one of them and buy something, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price. This being said, rest assured that the few cents I might thus make will never influence what I say or do not say about any book reviewed on the site.

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